Portraiture?

A big tripping point for me has been the GENRE of photography to focus on. Weddings? Portraiture? Editorial? Commercial? Photojournalism? Definitley not commercial. Although a little annual report work might be interesting and profitable... but forget complicated studio lighting...  or even a studio... don't want to get to heavily invested, and besides, I live in a shared house.

I've taken quite a few photos of friends children lately and they seem to love them. One friend is even telling me if I just get organised she'll help with the marketing. Child portraiture. It seems too narrow. Is it? I have a couple of ideas for this genre.One involves creating a really unique artwork revolving around a child, but the presentation I have in mind would probably cost a fortune! And where would I present such an artwork anyway?

I've done weddings in the past and really enjoyed them. They were all for friends however, and I'm terrified of bridezillas and their mothers... and it means working nearly every weekend of the year (well, once you're on a roll) and you have to commit so far in advance which is the biggest sticking point for me. I could be working for the NY Times in a years time. Ok, that may be a little far-fetched, but it's a bigger commitment than I feel comfortable with. And if you're really going to put all the effort into marketing yourself as a wedding photographer you'll want to have a long term plan to stick with it a few years.

Photojournalism is a tricky one. I loved working for the newspapers back home in NZ, but they were small town small publications. It was mostly sport, cheesy setups, and portraits. We went to several jobs a day and the photos weren't ever mind blowing. The standard in a city like Melbourne is so much higher. Am I capable? I'd like to think so, but the reality is that I'm probably not. However I could try and squeeze a toe in the door by doing some audio slideshows that they might want to publish on their website, or simply go along to events and take pics and email them to the paper. I've already sent my portfolio in and nothing has come of that. Most newspapers have really been screwed down on hiring so the work that they do still get freelancers to do is probably rare.

So I think I will focus on the child potraiture for a while and see where it takes me. Although there's still a website idea revolving around DOGS that I'd love to try out too. I'm still as indecisive as always. I think my boyfriend is running out of patience! 

Saturday morning with a belly full of pancakes

I was a little impatient with the pancakes.. they ended up being big thick doughy slabs.

Well welcome to my blog. As this is my first entry I wanted to set the tone... that of not too serious... just doing my own thing kind of blog. I do not take myself too seriously. This is not a look-at-me-I'm-bloody-amazing kind of blog. It's to be a honest (probably uncomfortably so at times) share of where I'm at and what my next big fear to face is and hopefully how I overcome that fear.

I've been talking about setting up as a freelance photographer for the past year and I've even been working part-time so I could have the time to spend on it. And it hasn't happened. I'm a very good procrastinator, and it's just getting to the point of ridiculous. Fear has stalled me. It has had it's icy grip on my shoulder and has been my master, 2010 is the year that that is going to end.

I recently began a 40 hour a week job in a portrait studio thinking that it'd be far easier doing that than starting up freelance. Not so. I was faced with more fears; fear of being watched, fear of making mistakes, fear of being told off... the list goes on. There too, my fear made me impotent, it cost me the job. "Jess, you're just too NICE  for this job..." translation: "Jess, you're really falling to pieces over nothing and you're costing us money. Goodbye". I didn't even have the chance to show them my skills with taking photos, I couldn't handle the front of shop customer service and sales. Sigh.

So I feel I've been shown that as much as I think a 40 hour a week job working for someone else would be cushy and so much EASIER, I'm still going to have fear to contend  with. Why not contend with that fear on my own terms, when I'm not costing someone else money?!

I do have a belief in my talents and abilities as a photographer. Working as a press photographer for 5 years taught me to think on my feet, it forced me to learn the people skills needed to get the best shot, and I learnt my way around the gear, which was all top of the line Canon.

However my business talents and abilities are severely lacking. My father may be an accountant but he certainly hasn't passed on any of those skills to me. The business side of being a freelance photographer is what really scares me. And I'm sure that I'm not the only creative that has those same fears. I was in a job interview a while ago and was asked what I'd price a finished artwork of my own at. I gave a price and then followed it with "But then I always seem to underprice myself". The interviewer(manager of the studio chain) replied "I've never met a creative who hasn't".

So wish me luck. Here begins my journey into the unknown.

xjess